sonic assault!

after 7 years of non-playing musically, im back. here's some pics from recent gigs. =)



Love is more than teenage foolishness. Love is for a lifetime. It shouldn't be hurried. Love, I think, should be taken slowly but surely. It's the best option I can think of and which I would prefer.

How many, I wonder, fall in love almost perfectly. I (and the One) want to be just like them. I don't want to fall in love perfectly with you today and not have you tomorrow. I'm scared of losing you I thought I was supposed to have forever. It's an ugly thought I want to forget but I simply can't. I fear it might happen to me and if that ever happens, (which I hope won't!!!) I'd be too weak to handle the situation I am in. Just like a line from a song, when I fall in love (I hope) it would be forever. Yeah, it might be too cheesy (love, love, love!), too idealistic (one true love…forever?), and too selfish of me but if God could read this, would He let me have the sole thing I want in the whole universe?

...and wait! Would you let me have it, too? Would you help me? I thought the whole universe conspires in helping you achieve what we want. Would you prove that by helping me too? Or would you prove me wrong? So, what would you do?

Im still here ah... waiting.. and you know that..


you are worth it!

1. Do not undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It is because we are different that each of us is special.

2. Do not set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best for you.

3. Do not take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as you would your life, for without them, life is meaningless.

4. Do not let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past nor for the future. By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life

5. Do not give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying. It is a fragile thread that binds us to each other.

6. Do not be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

7. Do not shut love out of your life by saying it is impossible to find.

8. The quickest way to receive love is to give love; The fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly.

9. Do not dismiss your dreams. To be without dreams is to be without hope; To be without hope is to be without purpose.

10. Do not run through life so fast that you forget not only where you have been, but also where you are going.

11. Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way.


facing disappointments...

What is our disappointment may be His appointment for our lives. And what we have to do is we have to just simply recognize that we don't always know the way that God is going to answer our prayers.

But we always need to learn to trust Him because if, in fact, we believe that He knows better than we do about what is good for us and if, in fact, we believe that He will answer a prayer in a way that proves He loves us (And that's always the bottom line.), then disappointment is manageable because we know that even disappointment--not getting our prayers answered the way that we wanted them answered--even that kind of disappointment leads to our good and His glory.



recovered from two parties where the booze was literally flowing and finally went to north after a year of absence. finally ended my summer with nary a scratch.

starring: 30" pizza.

beautiful people.


the drunk birthday boy: justin


random thoughts + quotes

  • It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel.

  • Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

  • Love is when you take away the feeling, the passion, and the romance in a relationship- and find out you still care for that person.

  • A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let go.

  • When the door of happiness closes, another opens but oftentimes we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us.

  • The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk way feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

  • It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

  • Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you
    back! Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart
    but if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours.

  • There are things you'd love to hear that you will never hear from the person from whom you would like to hear them, but don't be so deaf as not to hear it from the one who says it from his heart.

  • Never say goodbye, but do learn to let go - and bless from afar.

  • Love comes to those who still hope although they've been disappointed- to those who still believe- although they've been betrayed - to those who still love although they've been hurt.

  • It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone - but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

  • Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Hope you find the one that makes you smile.

  • There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real! Hope you dream of that special someone.

  • Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do the things you want to do.

  • May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to keep you happy and enough money to buy me gifts.

  • Always put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the other person too.

  • A careless word may kindle strife; a cruel word may wreck a life; a timely word may level stress; a loving word may heal and bless.

  • The beginning of love is to let those we love be just themselves, and not twist them with our own image - otherwise, we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.

  • The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

  • Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.

  • Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear.

  • The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

  • When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.


not graduating? nah... its okey..

"patience is the ability to bear affliction, delay, any interruption with calmness, perseverance and confidence in the goodness of God. It is inward peace as well as outward control. It is the submission of our schedules, our viewpoints, our dreams to the greater plan of God, with the conviction that He has a very good reason for every delay He allows to come our way."

im okey with me not being able to graduate this october, after listening through backtothebible's broadcast on being patient, i have found the ultimate peace of mind. now tomorrow, i have the courage to tell mom about me to finally finish my degree on march, instead of october this year. and gel couldnt be more right when she replied to me, after telling her about my evaluation result, that its's God's will that i wont be graduating on october. and of course, being delayed by one sem means that we'll have an extra semester to spend more time together.. but that's another story.


Lessons from a not-so-ideal graduate

I am the last person who should be talking about graduation. I didn’t even attend my own.

I saw graduation as a hurdle to get over, an obstacle I had to overcome so I could finally start working full-time for this paper. When that fateful day came, I wore a toga all right, but only to my dinner party. And it was the wrong shade of blue—the shop at Recto had run out of my college’s colors.

Despite my absence from the ceremonies, graduating from the university taught me a few things—some big, some small and some, well, forgettable.

You will miss school. Sure, you’re still in the middle of rejoicing over the fact that you no longer have to face your nasty professor and you’re probably thanking the high heavens because the days of surprise quizzes are over. But when you’re neck-deep in paperwork and are collecting overtime hours as if you can sell them on eBay for a fortune, you will definitely start missing those days when your biggest problem was today’s graded recitation. You know those annoying adults who tell you things like, “Oh I wish I could go back to school” or “I’d rather be a student forever”? Pretty soon, that will become you.

Take a break. You have your entire life to work. And once you start working, you’ll be doing it forever. Or at least until you’re 65. You’ve just spent at least sixteen years of your life in school. Now is the time to take a break. Whether your idea of a timeout is a weekend in Boracay, a month at your grandparents’ place in the province or a full week in your pajamas eating Cheetos and watching DVDs, do it. You deserve it.

Don’t let your course dictate your life. Your parents won the first battle—you hate math but they made you study accounting. You don’t know how you ended taking up dentistry when you can’t imagine staring into people’s mouths for the rest of your life. Here’s a little nugget of wisdom: Your course doesn’t dictate who or what you will become. A friend who took up geodetic engineering is now making a good living in publishing. I know a biology graduate who is now running her own business, a nurse who became a priest, a lawyer who decided to open a restaurant. You future is waiting—and you get to decide what it will be.

The school you graduated from does not determine the quality of your future. There are still small-minded companies that only accept applicants from the supposed top universities but don’t let that stop you. Just because you came from one of the more popular schools doesn’t mean you can rest easy. And it doesn’t matter either if you came from a school that no one else has heard about. It is you, and not your diploma, that will make your future.

Pursue your passion. Life is too short for you to be stuck doing things you really don’t want to be doing. Sure, blessed and few are the people who get to do what they love for a living but you might just turn out to be one of them. You would never know if you don’t try. Whether it’s art, music, sports, writing, food—pursue your passion. Your happiness and success may just depend on it.

Don’t let your college persona determine who you will become. (Unless you really loved who you were in college.) It doesn’t matter if you were the nerd, the dumb jock, the bully or the wallflower. College is over and your new life is beginning. Now is the time for reinvention if you deem it necessary. Think Madonna—but maybe not her cone bra phase. If you were the wallflower, break out of your shell. If you were the bully, try to be nicer. The world is waiting—try to be the best person you can be.

Make good decisions. Remember, the decisions you make after college have real-life consequences. Making a mistake no longer means just being sent to the dean’s office or failing a test. This is the real world we’re talking about.

Work hard but don’t forget to play. Love yourself by learning how to balance your time and your life. Working hard is good but not to the point of burning yourself out. Life may be a race but everyone needs pit stops once in a while. Don’t forget to have fun, adults are allowed that, too.
Handle your money well. Earning your own moolah is a big thrill. And spending it is an even bigger one, especially in a world with iPods and nice shoes and well-stocked malls. But saving a little cash every payday is something you have to do. It may not be fun but the security is worth it.

Create your own adventures. You don’t want to grow up too fast. Find pleasure in the small things, seek thrills from your everyday life, create adventures out of nothing. Organization is necessary in every grownup’s life, but the occasional spontaneity will do you good.

Make a difference. Find a cause, own it and do what you can for it. The world needs you.
Stay in touch with your friends. There is something important about not forgetting the people who knew you when you still had braces, when you were obsessing over that hot senior, when you were scared to death about getting your class cards. They will keep you young. They will keep you grounded.

Don’t stop learning. Say hello to the real world. Now your real education begins.

This story was taken from www.inq7.net


lss number one

alice in chains - no excuses

it's alright
there comes a time
got no patience to search
for peace of mind
layin' low
want to take it slow
no more hiding or
disguising truths i've sold

everyday it's something
hits me all so cold
find me sittin' by myself
no excuses, then i know

it's okay
had a bad day
hands are bruised from
breaking rocks all day
drained and blue
i bleed for you
you think it's funny, well
you're drowning in it too

everyday it's something
hits me all so cold
find me sittin' by myself
no excuses, then i know

yeah, it's fine
we'll walk down the line
leave our rain, a cold
trade for warm sunshine
you my friend
i will defend
and if we change, well i
love you anyway

everyday it's something
hits me all so cold
find me sittin' by myself
no excuses, then i know


go fsck yourself!

I don't like emo folk. In fact, I really hate everything that emo symbolises. Just absolutely hate it. I hate everything about it. Instead of moping about your own problems, why not do something about it or move on? wtf?. A significant other leaves you? Get over it. It happens. If your parents hate you, well then, deal with it. Chances are, they don't really hate you. Did your computer break? Fix it. Overstressed? Learn how to deal with your stress. Moping and being all depressed and cutting yourself and suicide are not a healthy, productive way to deal with things, just fyi. Get into arguments with your friends? Try and work it out, or get new friends. Sitting there and complaining about things is not going to fix anything, believe it or not. Talking about things with your friends, or brainstorming strategems with them is fine, but complaining about the same things for years gets nothing accomplished. And the emo music? Lito Camo-composed songs being the worst kind of music ever made, and emo being the second worst, why would mixing them together make it any better? Why do people listen to that shit? I want to punch ever emo band ever made. I'd feel so much better. Now you're entitled to like whatever music you want, just as I'm entitled to loathe whatever music I want! Bottom line, anything emo is teh suxxorz. And if you have a problem with it? Suck. My. Balls. I really don't care. Go whine to someone else. If you want to have a conversation with me, go ahead...but if you get emo or complainy on me, I will loathe you forever. Just like now.


For the past few days, I'm creating how-tos on modifying some codes on a website. My problem is that, its one of the least enjoyable tasks that I have been doing and im getting impatient on it. Documentation is not my turf, my thesis groupmates would attest to that.. I'd rather code and design than doing that. Anyway, the task is, I've got to list the steps on how I went around my coding, complete with screenshots and all, since it will be another person who will be tinkering around with the development asp scripts.

Months before, when just started working with the company, I was enjoying a newbie-like life. The project manager, which is the Director of Technology, which is the No.2 guy in the company, which is literally my boss, when giving me a new task, would give me a file complete with instructions and how-tos in getting around the task done, yes, that's right, project documentation. (presumably, it was the project manager who was doing the instructions and putting it to ms word), now its my turn to do that, in case there will be someone who will be editing the real mccoy. so, after countless trips to the kitchen to get water, im back here at my desk and feeling enlightened. ive realized that maybe this task is:
  • somewhat a 'sign' that im gaining the trust of the project manager, since he's delegated some of his tasks to me.
  • another addition to my resume entry, i can add this to my resume, instead of the usual, "Developed and Designed blah blah website", id be typing, "Created procedure documentation and standard code writing with blah blah website."
  • a confirmation that POST, which i read somewhere, is very important. POST stands for Project according to Organizational STandards. Literally translated it means that you have to do 70% documentation and 30% coding – so, I really got a taste of the amount of documentation that i will be doing when in production.
I'm beginning to love creating documentations..


bacolod on IT map!

a google query on the words, bacolod outsourcing turned up good results. currently, there's three call centers that will expand their business here, and another one to follow. thats good, and in addition to that, the SM is currently constructing a mall at the reclamation area... hopefully there'll be more jobs here to prevent the 'migration' of college graduates to either cebu, manila, or even dubai.

a friend, has been recently featured on inq7. its Von Caberte. and if any of you have played, bookworms from yahoo games, its creator, PopCap Games employs Von for the illustrations on the games, one of which is Bonnie's Bookstore.

heard from the grapevine:
An outsourcing company is planning to set up an office at VaST's former location. There's also another manila-based company looking for home-based IT pros -- preferably Bacolod-based... as you all knew, know, or didnt know before, i used to work at VaST for about a year.. here's my 2001 pic at vast, 3:00 AM...


Birthday Realizations..

im officially 24 years old. damn.

time keeps on slipping...when you are young you never thing about time. young people have all the time in the world. i forever believe that time extends itself one hour just for kids. they can have more fun than I have to get work done. kids never have to worry about anything except running out of ideas for fun and play. on the same token, we as young adults were once like that; but as we got older things changed little by little. as time passed we gradually had a better understanding of sorts of the challenges that were before us in life. we had to learn how to do all those things that we used to rely upon somebody else to do [mother, father, yayas etc...] so here we were trying to do it ourselves. good or bad, the attempt was supposed to benefit us in some manner. to what extent, we weren't real sure.

our lives are focused on things that are supposed to help us in some way. our work is supposed to supports us or our families whatever the case might be. everything we do and say reflects on us as being a beneficial part of society. in many cases we are looked upon with high standards by family, friends, and community. we have to be able to represent whichever area at any given point in time. all of that responsibility can be hard, if not very difficult to handle by most people. the younger you are the harder is to deal with it. i guess it goes to show that with age comes wisdom. yes, the wisdom of the sages. wisdom that used to be surrounded by unimportant facts and details that as a child never was or served any importance to us. so why now? why is it so easy for us to understand? have we finally become the people that used to hold that position? have we finally come to a realization that life is best lived when you are older? i don't know; but the pieces are slowly falling into place. Seems like things you never thought about seem to happen as you age. parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc all begin to pass away. these are the people that you looked up to. these are the people that you remember as being the ones that lifted you up to the sky; played trumpo with; went to an excursion with. these are the people that were supposed to be there for you whenever you needed them. however, somewhere along the line you forgot about the the fact that everybody grows old...even you.


convergence devices sucks

Been out on the whole saturday afternoon with Ice at robs, there's this new techie boutique from Pos Marketing. My nokia 6100 phone has been dead after countless flights from my PC table to my floor, so I have been window-shopping for phones lately. We chanced upon this sleek orange sony-ericsson walkman phone on the display. mp3 phone with cam. interesting. convergence device. a do-it-all phone. but i have my ipod. my sister's gonna send me an ixus this year. sure it looks up-to-date. people at la salle's gonna stare at me when im fiddling with this gadget. but why bother?

there's been talk of it for years, now - interactive televisions, fridges with internet access, wrist watch PDAs - combining features from multiple services in one device. but the basic problem with convergence is that it is a compromise: you end up with something which does all of the things it is supposed to do, but it does them all less well than a discrete device would.

if you join together a phone, a PDA and an MP3 player you end up with something which does none of these things well: you have a thing which is too big to be a cool phone, too small to be an effective PDA, has too many buttons to be a usable MP3 player, and has too short a battery life to be used for long as any of these things.

it's like a multi-tool or pen knife with too many tools in it: the knife blade is too short to be useful, the scissors are too fiddly to cut for long, and the screwdrivers can't be used for any screw which has been screwed in properly because there's no leverage and the neck keeps bending. Yes, these tools are useful in an emergency, but for day to day use you need an actual toolkit.

the convergence devices are not intended as emergency items, but the features incorporated are just as stunted as the novelty saw in a multi-blade pen knife.

i can't help but think about those huge bloated applicatoin suites that contain more features than anyone can ever use but which run like a long swim in molasses because all of the unwanted feature code gets in the way of the stuff you actually need. my preference is for much smaller programs which plug together any way you want; they all work well on their own, and none of them get in the way of the others.

is there a way around this, to make convergence devices actually usable for all of their features?

i don't know, but until portable power and UI technologies improve to a point where a convergence device isn't just the worst features of all the things it's trying to be, I will be keeping my devices separate.

im bringing my busted unit to C2K. I will add kapatid's 2nd album into my ipod through iTunes. I will wait for the digicam package from abroad.

im keeping my PhP18,000 in the bank instead.


Rain, Beer and Sex

Ahh...no better combination to top off a rather supendous week(even if I do say so myself).

I haven't been spending as much time infront of this computer, which must mean I'm finally getting a life (god forbid).

Yes, under that veil of techie-like knowledge hides a guy who is really quite shy and abit unsure of himself. I come across quite confronting and sarcastic to some people, yet others think I'm sweet and innocent, depending on their perspective.

The truth is, I am a rebel at heart. Yes the style of music im listening to and the fighting spirit say it all.I don't mean to talk myself up at all, but yeah, I guess I'm also abit arrogant.

Just waiting for someone to pull me down a peg or two. Don't think I'll ever meet such a person though. Thought I met one about a year and a half ago, but that turned out to be a goat pellet liquifying in the rain. (incubus' beware! criminal playing in the background)

Don't get me wrong. When I say I want to meet people, I genuinely do. I mean really meet people. And I don't believe in rendezvous or affairs or dates or flings either. I'm practically one-woman-man so you can scrap that idea before it takes graphic form in your delusional little mind. I'm not some those archetype bacolod boinoys looking for abit of action on the side. Just would like to meet someone, a female, that thinks the way I do.

I would say I'm extremely happy but I'm not. Life is not an easy thing. Anyone who tells you it is has to be bullshitting. I'm sure theres more to this asthetic world than meets the eye, and that both excites and disturbs me.

Some people assume that because I do rock at programming and have an impressive web design portfolio and won the best thesis that I have it made. I kid you not, its taken me ages to get to where I am now. Hours of studying, years upon teenage years of self loathing and then finally "getting it" and working with it. Yes I'm smart. I know this. Don't bother to tell me because you're only feeding my supercharged ego.

Some people assume that because I like doing photoshop that im a "computer guy". Tsk.

Give me something that is a radically new concept. Throw it at me, and watch me struggle to embrace it.

Though I might struggle, I will enjoy the challenge.

Nevermind me. Just my subliminal backlog rambling at the moment. It craves release in some form or another. If it found it's way into my dreams I'm sure it would drive me insane. Oh, maybe thats whats happened to me. Would explain alot, I guess.

Anyway, I have said my piece. If you are a similiar person to myself, please say yours.


happy new year!

Well what do you know its another year. I'm happy that I got a chance to live this long and I thank God that I've have the things that I have. You know seeing some host on TV looking 'tow up from the flow up' because he had had that stroke. I realize that life is precious. And i just wanted to thank God that I've lived through 2005 and I'm living to 2006. I know that this is my Graduation year lol so I'm glad I getting a chance to see it. Its weird that you look on your life and you know you've been living for like it seems like a billion years but its only 23. But I look back and reflect on what I did and I don't regret it because I wouldn't be where I am today. Anyway I'm just glad to see the new year in my final days of youth (as a student). lol listen to me sounding all old. hahahahahaha anyway I'm just glad to be alive and I was just talking about college with my mom and I got to thinking that DANG this is my last days of youth and I'm going to miss it. I going to miss everybody when I do go but such is life you know. Ol' well I don't mind I've had fun in my years of glory. It's time for me to step up and be a man. Yes I said it BE A MAN for some of those who don't think I am. But yeah i have to grow up and do things that I have to be responsible for. Its a trip we all must take. And is time to take mine. Anyway just thought I ought to update. See yah!