10.19.2004

strangers again

Everything seems the same. And yet nothing really was. For when I look at her now, it’s only her I see.
Unlike before, when I look at her, I see it all --- the dreams behind the smile, the thoughts that bring out the laughter, the memories that prompts her to gesture.

She’s become a stranger. More a stranger than when I first met her.

There she stands, my best friend. But she’s not mine anymore.

10.03.2004

Why do I love her?

Tough question. I don't even know how or where to begin. I'm not sure if I could possibly find the right words to express what or how much I feel for her, let alone explain why I love her. I don't believe the English language has all the words I would need.

Why do I love her?

I guess I just do. I love her just because. I love her just because that's the most natural and possible thing to do.

I love her.

I love her because she's the most incredible, wonderful, amazing and fantastic woman I have ever known in my entire life. I love her because she's sweet, charming, smart, witty, and has a great sense of humor. I love her because she's so cool she's hot.
I love her because she makes me smile. I love her because she makes me laugh. I love her because she makes me happy. I love her because she's the one and only girl who has ever made it through my wall and seen right through my mask. I love her because she accepts the real me, imperfections and all, and still appreciates me for who I am.

I love her for being my friend. I love her because I could be whatever I want to be in front of her. I love her because we could talk about anything and everything under the sun.
I love her because I feel safe when I am with her. I love her because we are comfortable with each other. I love her for giving me a helping hand when I had to pick myself up, but couldn't. I love her for offering her shoulder for me to lean on to when I had to be strong, but wasn't.

I love her for telling me not to drink too much alcohol, then pretending to be mad at me when I did drink too much. I love her for telling me not to stay up too late at night because it wasn't good for my health. I love her for texting and sending me sweet and mushy messages. I love her for those times when she would text me just when I was thinking of calling or texting her, when I was feeling down, or when I was missing her, like she has gone psychic all of a sudden.

I love her for the kilig moments we had. I love her for always making me feel better, about myself and life in general. I love her for making me feel special. I love her for making me feel loved. But most of all, I love her for making me feel. I love her for making me realize that I am capable of feeling this way and this much for someone. I love her for making me feel alive.
So, why do I love her?

I love her because she's all of these and more. So much more. I love her because she's everything. She's everything...